The Illusion of Seeking Certainty: How It Feeds Your Anxiety
Panic attacks, generalized worry, healthy anxiety, social anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) all have one thing in common: the desire to know something for sure or achieve certainty.
The voice of each might sound slightly different, but the overall message is the same…
For those that experience panic attacks: “How can I be sure I won’t have a panic attack while I’m out?” or “My heart beats so fast when I feel panicked, I need to be sure I don’t have a heart attack or pass out.”
Notice the similar undertone in health anxiety, social anxiety and OCD thoughts: “I have a headache, how can I know for sure that it’s not a tumor?” “I hope no one thought that I said something weird earlier, I should text them to see if they seem mad at me,” “Did I shut off the stove? I should just take a picture so if I feel unsure again I can remind myself I definitely did.”
Here’s the thing, we cling onto certainty because it provides a sense of safety - but it’s a facade. We don’t find certainty, it’s something we feel and life is FULL of unpredictability. We can never be 100% sure of anything, which might feel scary at first, but you actually face uncertainty everyday in your day to day life.
When you continue to chase certainty, symptoms of anxiety and OCD will start to be more frequent - maybe even more distressing because by doing so your brain thinks “this fear is real, I need to be sure.” When we treat this feeling as fact, cue compulsions, avoidance, ruminating, asking “what if…,” fearing your body, etc.
How to get out of the loop
Start by recognizing all of the places in your life where you are tolerating uncertainty, this will help to build your confidence. Then, I encourage you to be honest about how seeking certainty is keeping you in a bubble or away from the things that are important to you or that you enjoy. The goal is to get back to the things that make you, you - our values are more important than how we feel, the feelings just get to tag along while we do those things. Start little by little, letting what you value make decisions, despite what your anxiety or OCD have to say about it.
If you are stuck in the trap of seeking certainty, you absolutely can break free of that. Certainty isn’t something you can achieve, it’s a feeling your mind manufactures to soothe discomfort. I specialize in treating anxiety and OCD, because I myself know how hard it is to live day in and day out feeling like your brain is working against you - & that relief is possible.
If you want additional support and to learn how therapy can help you, click here or the button below to schedule a free 15 minute consult call.
Please note, I am only licensed in NY, MD and NJ at this time.